The two images above of UK Nepali women’s group cultural events and traditional socialising (please note for example the ‘anti’ water dispensers and other brassware in foreground of second picture) kindly provided by Mrs Rojina Pradhan Rai, Vice President of NRNA UK
Some Nepali sub-cultures see women enjoying a high status. However, this is generally-speaking an exception which proves a general rule in Nepal where until very recent times women have been often disadvantaged both legally and socially. The UK Nepali diaspora’s female population therefore has its own challenges in addition to those experienced by the general UK Nepali population, and also opportunities for voice and equality in culturally sensitive, appropriate ways, and including being able to be a beacon for culturally sensitive gender equality and women’s empowerment and human rights for Nepal’s female population. Elsewhere these topics have been touched on from extensive discussion at many levels and multiple UK Nepali community locations, but here, we provide important detail regarding a set of interviews that the UKNFS carried out through the research information and data gathering phase of the information resource project. Locations included Canterbury, Nth Hampshire, Bournemouth (the responses below), and also elements of a ground-breaking audio interview with the NRNA UK’s first female president, Mrs Poonam Gurung (http://en.newsnrn.com/2019/09/25/first-female-president-in-nrn-uk-history/).
Two Interviews:
The UKNFS is pleased to provide two representative women’s related subject dedicated interviews, responses below: these provide valuable insights on the challenges, strengths, and opportunities on culturally sensitive gender equality and women’s empowerment taking place across many sections of the UK Nepali women’s community.
UK Nepali women related questions for heritage project:
Women have been seen very inhibited in a male dominated culture. They are not equal as per British culture. They are rarely the main breadwinner. They raise children to the best of there ability, but are lacking in education and skills to bring change.
Women have been a big part for religious and cultural preservation. Contemporary is being introduced by the next generation learning to integrate in the U.K.
3. What do you feel are the main areas of mutual learning between UK Nepali women and UK women in general on gender equality and inclusion (please give some examples)
Education is becoming more of an opportunity and the need of it has been better appreciated amongst both. In terms of inclusion and gender equality there remains a huge discrepancy. In Nepal, without the father’s name you are not entitled to citizenship, therefore women remain financially abused and socially abused. The element of inclusion is particularly difficult as a nepali women living in the U.K., as there is a silo of a nepali community which adds pressure to conform to be a part of the community. Those breaking that boundary are not accepted in the community. This is where there is a lot of work required. To ensure the peer pressure does not take away human rights, which are not always a consideration in Nepal.
Language prevents the women from getting better paid jobs and advancing. Hence they remain stuck at low level skills and jobs – unable to break the cycle towards independent living.
4. About yourself: could you say a little about yourself as a UK Nepali woman and community lead from a Nepali women’s voice perspective
I am a British born Nepali, from conservative parents. I broke the mould and was the first person in my family to go to University and complete my undergrad. I completed my masters from University of Surrey. I am a single parent of two daughters. My husband is from Nepali origin. I have worked hard in the community to see women come out of their shell and achieve some understanding of life outside of their 4 walls. I founded Asian Mahila Association (AMA)in 2005 – you only had to be Nepali woman and you were welcome. Therefore no caste, religion or background dependent. I introduced English classes, computer classes, healthy living, Bollywood dance and coffee mornings.. It was very much a great opportunity to bring some empowerment to Nepali women in the U.K.
Women were never in community organisations, there views were never encompassed. Nowadays, women are speaking up more, achieving better, sharing and understanding about equality – even-though they may not be able to achieve it outside of their own home – as they were conditioned that way.
It is hard being a Nepali women in a male dominated society, but I see change has been made. More work needs to be done, to help women that are unable to help themselves.
Where there is so much help with the Gurkhas, there needs to be more investment towards the people that come into the U.K. with them – children and wives. The mothers don’t understand the education system, so how can they guide their children? Even parents evenings take place in which they can’t communicate.
Hopefully more work and investment will happen in this arena?
Miaya KC GRNC Vice President and Gorkha Ama Samuha founder
UK Nepali women related questions for heritage project:
1. What would you say are the main characteristics of women’s contribution to Nepali society generally and in the home setting?
Women of Nepali society are the main caretaker for all the family members. They look after every single member of the family helping them with day to day living. Almost all of the women from earlier generations are only housewives who only looks after house and family members. They perform all the housekeeping work and prepare food for the whole family. Usually men are considered to earn money for the whole family and wife to maintain the living standard within that budget. Traditionally, females were considered to be the leaving member of the family. A woman should go to the man house and start living there after the marriage. They should look after their men after the marriage. Therefore, investing in women’s education and training was considered to be a loss. However, men were well educated and trained so that they can earn better money for the family. But things are changing now and equal educations are practised more in this modern time.
2. What would you say are the main contributions of women to a) traditional and b) contemporary Nepali culture in the UK
Even in UK, women from the traditional Nepali culture where bought to UK after marriage to work as caretaker for their men. As they were not educated, they cannot compete and therefore hesitate to work outside in the UK society. They are not able to communicate well with other nationals and would always have low esteem. However, women from contemporary Nepali culture are equally educated and trained as their men. They are able to manage things and contribute in a better way. They can work outside to earn money for living with the support of equal opportunity or gender equality provided by the government of UK and also able to manage the house on free times. Men and women are working in a balance manner to live a better life in the present time.
3. What do you feel are the main areas of mutual learning between UK Nepali women and UK women in general on gender equality and inclusion (please give some examples)
UK Nepali women must not hesitate to bring themselves out of the house and explore the opportunity that UK provides. The best thing is to observe and learn how they can also grab the similar opportunities that exists. The most important thing is to build confidence and be self-motivated to push yourself out of the weak areas. Appropriate training and skills can always be acquired for self-development. The main areas are improving communication skills including reading and writing. One can meet many people, observe their way and improve. There are several inexpensive mediums to get the information and trainings. One example of mutual learning is to catch up for lunch and dinner and discuss the recipe and food preparation. Cookery is a naturally developing skill in the Nepali women which is observed less in the UK women. This skill can be easily shared and enjoy mutual benefit. Other than that, Nepali women mostly have knitting and sewing skills. Handmade sweaters are quite popular in Nepal. These kinds of skills can always be shared and both can be benefited with discussion on the development.
4. About yourself: could you say a little about yourself as a UK Nepali woman and community lead from a Nepali women’s voice perspective?
I consider myself as the UK Nepali women of the modern time. I have the necessary education and skill that can provide me enough opportunity to work and contribute equally. I am willing to share my skills and knowledge to anyone that can be benefited to have their personal development.
Mrs Lata Khanal (Bournemouth, Dorset)
Nepal traditional contexts on women’s rights, respect, and roles in society and changing development:
The law has only recently changed to allow a woman not married by the age of thirty-five to inherit an equal share from her parents, and the Constitution of 2015 is likely to further extend this welcome change. Her dowry is otherwise her share, and as this constitutes a considerable expense to her family, the birth of a boy is preferred. However, there are sometimes, rarely, instances of dowries being put to exceptional uses by wives with the support of husbands, such as being used for altruistic purposes such as setting up schools and centres for children with disabilities, etc.
The September 2015 Constitution has the rights of women explicitly recognized, with a specific provision stating that “women shall have equal ancestral right without any gender-based discrimination.”
Gender determination clinics exist, and female feticide is undoubtedly an issue. Women suspected of having an abortion may be imprisoned. Girl trafficking to brothels in India and beyond is still a very real problem with Nepali children’s and women’s human rights organisations undertaking exceptional work to reduce this.
According to a Nepali saying, “Having a daughter is like planting a seed in another man’s garden.” Girls officially change families upon marriage. They enter their husband’s family at the lowest level, gaining in status only when they produce a child, preferably a son. Traditionally they are expected to defer to their husbands and in-laws at all times. Daughters do however maintain a special relationship with their maiti (maternal home), and when permitted to visit after marriage, they are likely to be treated there as princesses, higher in status than their sisters-in-law.
Menstruating women or those who have just given birth are considered jiuto (impure) and must in extreme cases leave the house for a few days in order not to sully the purity of their husbands. There is however another side to this: women are not permitted to prepare food during menstruation and are allowed to rest while their husbands do the cooking.
There is still a much higher level of illiteracy among women. Increasing access to education has, however, improved the position of women. A good education ensures that a daughter will make a better marriage. Wealthy and high-caste women are not generally expected to work. In some cases a husband might lose face if his wife worked.
Divorce is very uncommon. It is difficult for a divorced woman to return to her original family and she will be expelled by her husband’s. Children may remain with their mother until the age of six, after which they “belong” to their father.
Widows are traditionally shunned by society, especially in more remote districts. They may well be thrown out by their husband’s family as an extra mouth to feed. It is believed they are responsible for their husbands’ deaths, and in extreme cases they may even be called witches.
In marked contrast, in the business world of Kathmandu and in increasing numbers of governmental and national agencies organisations, women are increasingly emerging as CEOs and holding other senior posts. The first President of Nepal was Ram Baran Yadav. Nepal’s first president of the Federal Democratic Republic, Bidhya Devi Bhandari, elected in October 2015, as the first female head of state.