The family (image above: Mrs Mingma Sherpa, her husband, and daughter) is the most important social unit in Nepal. Families tend to be larger, especially in rural areas, and more extended than Western families. Older members of the family are much respected by younger generations, and expect to be looked after by their sons in old age.

In the UK Nepali community regular often at length social media (Facebook especially) daily or every other day video call communications with immediate family members in Nepal, not in the UK, or visiting back to Nepal are a main feature of daily life, evidencing the closeness of family bonds.

One of the interviews the UKNFS carried out in support of this information resource’s development featured the topic of the role of the family.  We are very grateful to Mr Kripesh Adhikari (Bournemouth Nepali community) for contributing his thoughts and perspectives, which are provided below (questions in italics):

The family structure and role of the elderly and elders — Traditional expectations (oldest son, daughters, etc.) of serving the family and family name?

In the traditional Nepali culture, when a child is born, they automatically get the family name or surname of their father. The family name is carried forward from the father’s name of previous generation. However, the mother surname is not considered to be such significant. Actually, the woman surname changes to the surname of her husband after the marriage. The oldest son in the family has greater responsibility than the rest and considered to take the charge to support the whole family in the absence of his father. The parents are looked after by usually the elder son until their death. Old people living in care homes is not popular even today unless there are no one to look after or the children wants to send them deliberately away.  Even during the funeral of parents, sons have to shave their head and wear white clothes. The male family member can only perform the last rites. Only in some special cases where no male is there in the family, the female can take that role.

Changing dynamics of family structure in regard to UK / Western norms attractive to more Westernised [especially younger generations, particularly those working in academia and non-traditional more Western economic sectors] Nepali community members – what are the main strengths and challenges to UK Nepali communities from young to elderly regarding this phenomenon?

Things at present for Nepali community in UK have changed drastically in the name of westernisation. The western culture of UK has given much more freedom in term of their living habits and choices. From food to living in are more common than ever in specially in younger generation. People in Nepali culture are more used to consume homemade foods than to look for fast food and takeaways like in the UK. Hence cooking is a naturally developing skills found in most people of Nepal as they are used to seeing their parents cook in the kitchen. Cooking for yourself is more favourable in all cases like in terms of health or saving money. The other tradition that western culture attract is going to clubs and pubs leading to consumption of alcohol and cigarettes. Younger generation quite easily gets attracted to this believing it as a fun thing to do. Talking about the strength of the western society that UK Nepali community are benefitted with is the better quality of life. UK provides better value in terms of food, better living with hard work. Other than that, the quality of education and medical treatments are also better compared to the living in Nepal.

Kripesh Adhikari